THE CHIPS ARE A LIE

                                           

In general, I'd consider myself a fairly healthy person. Lots of veggies, plenty of fruit, I take the stairs, etc. However, despite any nutrition facts you care to throw at me, despite the probability that these will probably wind up giving me four kinds of cancer by the time I'm thirty and even IF the powder on them was made from the blood of kittens: I will still LOVE these chips. I can eat them like most people drink water. If there was a swimming pool full of them somewhere, I would use the rest of my college loan money to buy it, set up my laptop, and sit there happily eating every single one of them while finishing my dissertation.

However! Tragically. The brand they have here instead of Lays is "Walkers," and the standard Walkers 'crisp' flavors are Prawn Cocktail, Salt & Vinegar, and Cheese & Onion. 

So, knowing this, you can imagine my excitement when (on my way back from a dissertation meeting) I spotted these in the shop down the street:

(I looked something like this)

(Just in case you were having trouble visualizing)

So of course I buy them, get home, pop the bag open aaaaand, first disappointment:

Really? Britain, I have consumed family-sized bags worth of Lays BBQ chips in a single sitting! 

This is probably the equivalent of what would normally crumble to the floor as I'm shoving the contents of a human-sized bag in my mouth.

 America SO does not approve. However, all things considered, this is still more BBQ chips than no BBQ chips, right? So time to quit taking photos for posterity's sake, sit back, pull up the essay, finally put the first piece of crispy heaven into my mouth, and------

Oh. Sweet. Mercy. 

WHAT did I just eat??? Good gawd, that tasted like... OH *gag* that is not NOT what I wanted, the vicious betrayal, the crippling disappointment! BBQ Rib, Walkers??? Rib of WHAT? Did you buy the bbq sauce from Pound-land?? *water*

Final tragic result: The chips... are a lie.

*sigh* Guess it's time for a healthy snack and to get back to the essays... don't get me wrong, I do love blackberries, and these are darn good ones, but it's still definitely not the same as having the lining of your tongue seared off by the blistering glory of Lays BBQ. Here's to you, America!

Notes:

~The cake is also a lie, for anyone who hasn't heard this magical song yet.

~I'm trying to focus on three 15-page essays right now, so I've been pretty much locked up in my dorm all day and night. Hopefully I'll get at least one and a half done before I start traveling again! Haha, and HOPEFULLY hopefully that will mean the next few blogs will involve more exciting photos ;)